Initiation 2

I am back. Almost on the same terrain but a more critical analysis this time. But today I wont talk about lost places, the topic would rather be lost people. People who want to say a million things to some "one in a zillion" person but have to contend with broadcasting a few thousand lines for one's elusive "the one" to pick up and notice. What a strange animal man is? Is this a sub-conscious form of exhibitionism? But who will tell me?

chalo, I should put across my theory and let others contribute/ criticize.Restricting our discussion to email, chatrooms and blogs, what do these things solve? If one pays a bit more attention, there's not much evidence of such an open expression of human thoughts in the past. esp. of the blogs...Some may argue that blog is an extension of good old diary writing system but in my opinion this is not true. Both differ at their root purpose,one is a private store house to be revisited after decades, to satisfy nostalgic thirst while the blog is to say it to all. Imho, blog represents modern day paradigm shift to shw-off and cash in, both fruits of materialism. 10 years back, could we ever have expected couples to make their bedroom blues public, a student writing all he/she feels about his teacher or a pyt invting people to talk to her...blogs though carry traditional lamenting on the system, reviews of movies, events, people etc. as well...So blog is a novel expression and at the same time gateway of conventional expressions.

The advantage of this expression is its just another solution for ubiquitous problem of stress. Infact, modern day psychologists and our ancient wise men agree on their prescription on stress relieving, which is to express oneself....and blog suits present day world..its fast, easily accessible and global. The only disadvantage can be when the object of one's grudge comes across one's blog. Oh gawd!!! that'll be a KO. what if mom sees what I am writing.. I'll be nailed....so guys just excuse me till I invent a safer "mode of expression" or get bold enough to use this blog again..

Promise to myself...

Flowers,birds,rain,the hill
Never cross my mind,
Nor am I fill.
With joy so innocent,
As only she is
my dreamgirl.

Doubts, worries, thought,
is all i have,
N' it is fought.
The battle so hard
where else but
in my own heart.

Smiles, frowns, fad
she thinks so pretty
and I so bad.
Whats amiss,
Cant I be happy,
N' always be glad.

Promise, pledge, a vow
here I make
to me and to thou.
I'll be fun,
from now on
N' no furor.

.. which did not last even a month, i guess. Anyways, really bad rhyming.

The initiation

Hey there

What now is a blog? Seriously speaking, who is this guy "there" to whom I am saying hi ? What hit upon me to write on this sidey blog at this early morinng hour for normal diurnal people? And what purpose will this solve? Will anybody of this species "there" out there care to read it? May be there's enuf vehli junta out there like myself willing to farsake one work, career, family, friends and what not just to find some breathing space. However, the consolence of not being "the only tired one" is all one gets. God knows in what dimension this space exists.

Lets start with myself. What should I write about a person who is trying to find himself in this harrowing hollowness of internet, where zillions of people are continuously losing themselves. The most baffling thing is everybody knows that the internet is a "Lost and Lost" place, the found part is lost somewhere. So, now I too should get lost and find myself.

Till I lose myself again, signing off...
Ashish

"Dazed and Confused"

I started my journey with a soldier's gait
As a born winner, maker of my fate.
Praises pouring plenty, hopes held high,
I will be there, I will fly.
Who did forsee a one eyed king,
Had frozen feet and wax wing?
Towards or away, life was a run,
I feared darkness, or was it sun.
My self failed me in the war of vision,
The reason was not fortune, nor was reason.
What I haven't done is the fuss,
Every ought and must still a guess.
Numbed still in the mire of million mutiny,
What am i awaiting, a search or scrutiny?
Hope is in parts, a half in here,
The other with her,despair breeds this pair.

My best/worst till date...

The first omen

Your care teared me,
Whats left is a zombie.
I ain't one of them,
Milling millions of this mayhem.
O Lord, take me away,
To your place, where I stay.
Without misery or bliss,
Like a stone, as it is.
It should not be cursed, one's birth,
But I'm empty, without any dearth.
Left with nothing as an option,
I beg Thee, for adoption.

No comments !!!!

In a boring lecture

Again he's here with a nervous look
Like he doesn't know what to cook
Gazing am I with expectant eyes
Hoping against hope torture'll be nice
Soon the hope will be a fantasy
Competing, in dreams, with my Urvasi
Why we always have as a work
All the things that I most shirk
Can we not have such a gain
Which always comes without any pain
Only I know how I regret
All the applaud my learnings get
At the expense of that innocent charm
I dont need fame, I need calm.

Do not remember which row I was sitting in? Must be second or third. God bless indian chemical industry.

Struggle

Periodic, acute
Shortlived, disturbing
Like an eclipse
The invisible dragon
Overpowered my psyche
It rained and rained
Trail of thoughts
Long and thin
Of ruin and grim
Standing alone
Searching a hope
Hoping a search
Amidst storm
I fought and fought
With myself
Within my self
Eventually it grew
Stronger and stronger
Like a storm
Penning my grief
Pinning my sorrow
Raising hope
For a better tomorrow.


Can this even be called a verse? I guess the only struggle one understands is for words to abhor it :D