Going home today...

..after 4 short months with some long days. Still unsure, still in unrest and still ungainly, but more at ease with the unsurety, in control of the unrest and a little less fazed by the ungainliness. Giving some break to a time which is just learning to fly, going back to the old time, of thousand flights. Dunno if I am prepared for this change? The question thats irking me is will I be able to adjust to the old time, which I had left so far.

Speaking of preparation creates another question in my mind. Am I carrying too much baggage or is it the same as everone else's? Will be carrying two bags for sure, an old one and a borrowed one. I always want to dump the old one, to bury it at some place, where none of my insubordinate thoughts can ever discover it. But it still sticks with me like a shadow, hopping from one place to another, from one time to another. Though a borrowed one, the new bag, not mine originally, looks so good. Still mixed, it seems to have the right ingredients. Sometimes, I hope I knew how to preserve bags or how to change them at will.

Aankh se duur na ho

Song: Aankh Se Door Na Ho
Album: Sajda
Lyricist: ??
Singer: Lata Mangeshkar

Heard it last week on a friend's recommendation. Its about two lovers who are having a hard time. One of them wants to part ways temporarily. So the other one, who is against this, gives his arguments (I'll assume the female wants to go. It can also be the other way round though):

aankh se duur na ho dil se utar jaayegaa
vaqt kaa kyaa hai guzarataa hai guzar jaayegaa

Please do not go away, becuase then I may forget you forever. However hard the time is it will pass someday. It always does. So, its better to stay together and endure rather than part and forget each other.

itanaa maanuus na ho Khilvat-e-Gam se apanii
tuu kabhii Khud ko bhii dekhegaa to Dar jaayegaa

Do not think of pains in your solitude so much that you start fearing yourself. Always brooding over one's worries makes it worse, lets share them and we will feel better.

tum sareraah-e-vafaa dekhate rah jaaoge
aur vo baam-e-rafaaqat se utar jaayegaa

If we part now, one of us will always hope to get back but the other will just move on. There will be "nothing left to weather".

zindagii terii ataa hai to ye jaanevaalaa
terii bakshiish terii dahaliiz pe dhar jaayegaa

And in the end, when nothing works, he gives the ultimate threat --> I consider my life as your gift, you have made it worth living. So, if we part I'll shun it at your doorstep itself.