Random thoughts

I did not want to write anything today, haven't got a topic on my mind. Whatever the thoughts are, they are too private to divulge here. Still silence is something I can ill afford. Its deafening. I was listening to music to lessen the effect but it did not help. So, cleaned up my room. It helped. But my room was not dirty enough and I am back to square one. I am thinking of eating something, but I am not hungry yet. Plus my flat-mate is in the kitchen and I am too shy to show him my culinary in-adeptness. Hence, the blog.

Lets enumerate about some good things I came across in the last few days. The bad ones are too abstract, make me look silly, so I'll reserve them for a private audience.

1) Bought a new mattress a couple of months back after my back literally screamed for a change. The old mattress always reminded of a numerical analysis lecture in which the curve had to be convex as a pre-condition for some lousy stability theorem. But my back did not seem to like this convex stability of the mattress, which isn't unexpected as I never liked maths. My back's year long agony went away with almost no effort and money. The mattress cost me $10 only. I know you are thinking why did I not do this earlier. Not that I am miser and was sacrificing my back for money. Only a true procrastinator can empathize with me here. Being a sensitive person, my other concern was how will my generous good-natured 73 year old landlord feel if I threw away his beloved mattress, a dowry gift that he has diligently preserved since World War-II. So, I spent quite a few months thinking of ways to smuggle a new one into my room without his knowledge. Now mission being accomplished under the aegis of a dark moonless night, I exchange the mattresses every evening and sleep blissfully, without offending my landlord in any way . However, one disadvantage of the new arrangement is, unafraid of sleeping, I no longer spend late nights surfing and my blogging frequency has gone down, so are the hits on my blogs which further demotivate me to write. I still am looking for a solution to this vicious circle.

2) One of my friends finally launched the first service of his company after months of arduous labor. Its a text to speech converter, works on blogs and websites too. A god sent blessing for people like me for whom the act of sitting in front of a screen and reading, is too much of an effort. Extract from the launching mail follows

"I am happy to announce the launch of our product, the Proaxsys Reader Engine. This product brings the convenience of voice to PCs. You can create material for your iPod right from your desktop. The Engine runs on our web-server, and is most convenient to use and totally hassle-free. You are spared any painful installations and configurations!"

3) Worked as a volunteer for the ASHA dinner. A first for me on two fronts, in the kitchen and for a good cause. I hope this was not the last time for both the things.

4) Came across this great song Des mera rangrez hai babu from Jhini by Indian Ocean. It has Indian rusticity written all over it, asif one has been listening to it for ages.

That's it for today I guess. The silence has been alleviated and my flatmate too is done with cooking.

Ciao,
Ashish

Dream

I jumped off, just like that, from top of the world, into the meaningless milieu. I thought it will start off like my first sentence to a girl does; nervous, hesitant, fitful. But it was different, I took to the fall with utmost poise. Everything happened in a fleeting second and lasted an eternity, was so subtle that I had to tell myself I went through it.

The fall wasn't unpleasant either. It was blissful. I saw it, yea I did, the vastness of space clipped by the finiteness of perception, from the top. I looked down for a second. Smiled at the futility of everything. The smallness of it. But then realized that precious little time was being lost. I stopped looking and started assimilating.

Surprisingly, it never looked as if I will not be able to make it. It came naturally to me, from me. I did think of having wings for a second, to prolong the feel, but it felt like swimming with a life jacket, I felt chained within the comfort of safety. I threw the thought away. Unrestrained unabated fall had seduced the whole of me into its lure.