Tears of the sun

I want to cry the whole night today,
cry into the hollows of broken dreams,
for eerie haunting carcasses of vanquished hopes,
to deafen the depths of this unending silence.

But how can I?
I'm a grown up man,
with a stong will,
a power to ride over emotions,
a strength to wipe my own tears.

I want to throw this mask away,
that I have donned for eons now.
I want to be weak for a moment,
for the burden of strength is too heavy.
I want to cry, to laugh, to play, to fall down,
to rise awkwardly, to be a fool again, as a child.

But how can I?
I'm a grown up man.
With wisdom my forte,
I stand tall after my failures,
heartless, stoic, unruffled.

What if I want to have a heart,
for a moment, just for once?

Is mod se jate hain

The vagaries of life have not allowed me to think about it for a long time now, which is reflected in no posts lately. As I do not expect myself to write anything worthwhile soon, I am filling the gap with an interpretation of one of my favorite songs, penned by Gulzar. The words explaining the meaning are mine but the core idea is 'tap-ed' from a post in the Gulzar community at Orkut.

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Is mod se jaate hai – Aandhi

Is mod se jaate hain
kuch sust kadam raste, kuch tez kadam raahe
patthar kee hawelee ko, sheeshe ke gharondo me
tinkon ke nasheman tak, is mod se jaate hai…

Sanjeev and Suchitra, just starting their lives together ("mod" refers to a point in life), are thinking about various paths and destinations that lie ahead. "sust kadam" (laid back) and "tez kadam" (go-getter) are the ways that they may take in future. Both are aware that depending on the path that they choose, they may land up at different places -- in a "pathar ki haveli" (relationship with a strong foundation), "sheeshey ka ghronda" (a fragile one) or "tinkon ka nasheman" (nasheman = nest, a temporary fling).

aandhee kee tarah udakar, ek raah gujaratee hai
sharamaatee huyee koi, kadamo se utaratee hai
in reshamee raaho me, ek raah to wo hogee
tum tak jo pahuchatee hai, is mod se jaate hai..

ek door se aatee hai, paas aake palatatee hai
ek raah akelee see, rukatee hain naa chalatee hai
ye soch ke baithhee hoon, yek raah to wo hogee
tum tak jo pahuchatee hai, is mod se jaate hai..

"aandhi ki tarah udkar" (filled with passion), "sharmaate hui koi, kadamo se utarti hai" (shy), "ek door se aati hai, pass aake palatatee hai" (whimsical) , "ek raah akeli se, rukti hai na chalti hai" (slow, steady) -- Having so many ways to approach their nascent relationship, they share with each other the 'pleasant anxiety' that is teasing them and wonder, "There must be some way that leads to you".
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Marvellous, isn't it ?